Wars are horrible, sometimes inevitable experiences. While it feels good to be able to serve democracy and freedom, warfare is far beyond what we call stressful. To this end, soldiers often need some kind of relief, even comical. And that’s exactly where tank names come in.
Tank names are funny, witty, sometimes surprising, and believe it or not, very practical! It is thanks to the inscriptions on the gun tube that a tank crew member can easily identify their vehicle from a distance.
So, let’s take a look at how battle tanks get their nicknames and check out some of the most original ones!
How Do You Name a Tank?
It’s not that you can just take a spray and name your tank whatever your tank crew thought of as unique and hilarious. The captain and their crew think hard about what inscription shows their witty spirit best. Next, they submit the name suggestion to the commander. Once they get the approval, they can spray paint the name on the gun.
Can a tank remain unnamed? It is possible, though it is said, that most army members would find it strange and disturbing not to have a signature on the tank gun. As we have mentioned before, it makes the vehicle easier to spot in a full Abrams pool. Also, one gets to become a bit superstitious in times of crisis, and a funny tank name is taken as a good, protective sign.
Tank Name Approval Rules
The rules and regulations about decorating one’s battle vehicle with a name are not exactly set in stone. However, the name mustn’t be profane or deemed too offensive.
In addition, some commanders follow the guideline that the tank name has to begin with the same letter as the battery or squadron. For instance, Bravo Battery could go for the tank names such as Better Run and Hide Black Death, Bring It On, or even Betty White. These are all legit real-life examples of Abrams's names.
Best Tank Names
The most recent tank name that caught the public’s attention was Dwayne Johnson. The similarity and reasons for the name are more than obvious. Here is a list of some of the tank names that caught our eye:
-Hold My Beer (plenty of beer and meme lovers apparently)
-And Justice For All (the crew may have been a fan of Metallica)
-Bad Mama Jama
-Cowboys from Hell
-American Bad Ass
-Diplomacy Failed…(editor’s favorite)
-Ted Bundy (not really sure how this one got approved)
-All You Can Eat
-Cat Scratch Fever
-Alexander the Great
And many, many more. The tank crews certainly don’t lack inspiration, and there’s usually a story behind every tank name.
How did Barbie Dreamhouse Got Its Name?
The Barbie’s Dreamhouse certainly stands out in the parking lot. A popular girly dollhouse in all shades of pink couldn’t be further from the sandy, dusty battle machine. Yet, it turned out the tank was exactly what one little girl was dreaming about.
Barbie’s Dreamhouse is a tank commanded by Captain Jillian Collins. Just like a Barbie’s Dreamhouse is a symbol of what many a little girl aspires to own (or live in some day) to feel happy and fulfilled, a battle tank was the place where Captain Collins was feeling the happiest.
Also, it took a while to have her dream come true as she was faced with statements such as the one that armor was not open to female soldiers. Therefore, taking command of her own tank was definitely a dream come true and the name, while definitely funny, is spiteful and definitely inspires fighting for freedom too.
While in the old days of the First World War British officers were naming tanks to show off their classical education, nowadays the US tank crews show off their sense of humor, wittiness, or they pay a tribute to their loved ones.
The purpose, however, remains universal: lifting the tank crew’s spirits. Judging by the imaginative tank names, the morale of the US military is very, very high.
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